Friday, March 30, 2007

the ups and downs in light shows

Now the lights in the blue fluorescent hint hues
Each shone copper of pigment, in lover’s lost shoes,
Flying mountains now face you in directions where ghosts
Come alive in your mind and your long vacant hosts
To take away from this boredom of each random day's coast
Swinging seats now move us – for each better and worse
And the piccolo soundings seep from horns of the hearst
Marking the end of the Man, who now holds in his hand
The red tear dropped signed package
Of a Lord's love in his land
Burning like horizons; that have died till its dusk
Where the endings are beginnings, and our cries are now rust
And the smiles of the day reflect the patchings in Sun
Stronger; as whole, we are the West found and won.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

what happens in the middle

Discard the ones who’ve fallen for they mean no spare of part
They are worthless in the leverage of our own domestic carts
– That we push around the streets to linger sweet like room dinettes
That aren’t meant to be used in fashion’s fear of late regret.

Sip wine with bloated, oily swine,
Hold meals with kinds that kill at our time…

To save this place; to chase after our race
To be apart of, but then -
Our instincts raise hand
Against the heels of brethren,
And the hearts of own kin.


Our own reflections we now smear
When we cannot see quite clear
In vain and clothesline pasts,
Leaving futures, born to cast.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Driving Games from New York

This is a drawing that was a result of a sort of driving game Gene constructed for me to play on our way home. I suppose it wasn't really a game then if it was just me playing but it was sort of an interesting challenge to partake in. Basically, Gene and Ruba would recite to me a random word every five minutes until I decided to stop and we would see how I instinctively processed the course of these words into line form. The words were as thus : pit, purity, falling, sincerity, mushroom, and snooks. I decided to stop at snooks because the fact that Gene decided to throw that term at me made me realize he was bored and probably was going to continue throwing me trick curves to liven up the I decided I'd take the chips while I was still ahead...

I also drew a couple other pictures while on a beach and from the car ride home after being swept up by the city. you can see them at my eyerchives or rather the "formal hand methods" link.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

One Must

One must think – to perceive

And One must perceive – to find oneself

And One must find oneself – to find will

And One must have will – to go on

And One must go on – to live life

And One must live life – to add

And One must add on – to feel whole.

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Sun - it's out - Go running for funs

Well when the Sun comes out,
My heart goes too…
And when the winter goes running,
It brings my attitude

In the colors of the flowers;
They melt the man in me
Bringing softer children,
To where they ought to be

Cause it’s in the way you hold your head
When the People come around
To what skins and hearts are beating
Under Suns and warmer grounds.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

What I do


Please stop counting all my habits,
Because I know just what I do
I find my worth through battles

So I can build my love for you.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

My Love is for The Moon

Oh Moon light, sweet Moon
With your bosoms warm of glow
I’ll journey towards your knowledge
From these trees down here below

I’ll walk eagerly through darkness
To see your different points of view
Not knowing where my legs might end up
Or what adventure comes anew

But in my tiresome trek walks
I’ll keep eye of what to do,
That is only of my heart- beat,
Because my heart beats for the Moon.

A Question

Tell me – have you seen Space, with just your eyes...

Or is the microscope all you bare?

In case my face may scare you

It's not that I am different
Or changed my root of name
It's just that I am growing
Into someone never the same
Languished in cold mystery
I sweep and find ways out
And with each struggle, I forge ahead
...Until the next change comes about.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Saturday, March 17, 2007

the new crowd is new here

You only see a physical body
Imposing his will
Imposing him self to physically gripe at you
You struggle at yourself
So you struggle back with me
I am a humble body here

But in my mind I sit the throne
In my mind, I am the King
And through my hands my realm will proclaim
-Upon pedestals to be seen
-Upon pedestals to be loud
-Upon pedestals to see and find humans ready to be humans

And these writings are indeed an evolving ego
A centrically driven – manifesto

You see, in my head I’m for once me
Because through my hands I can now see
Because through my medium – I can speak to a crowd
Who as well wish to stand up,
Who as well wish to be loud…
Through the beats in their hearts
And the loves they’ve once found…
To feel strong is now misfit,
To be small: the new crowd.

Friday, March 16, 2007

I'm afraid the city scares me

I'm afraid the city scares me
I’m afraid they will take out my child’s eyes and replace them with their own. I am afraid that my self may stop coming to me. I’m afraid there may be a realness epidemic sweeping their streets and I could be infected. I’m afraid there may be snitches who will snitch out all my style. I’m afraid there could be pretty girls with dazzling eyes and inconsistent tendencies who will surprise and excite me but make me realize later on they only love themselves – Or worse spoil things by telling me love doesn’t really exist at all. I’m afraid of losing dream reason. I’m afraid sex will be sex, and I’ll start drinking coffee, and people will have routines and will stick to them. I’m afraid that the bustle will make my teeth cringe and help me to die. I’m afraid that the buildings will constantly fall on top of me. I’m afraid I’ll feel trapped in the critic’s company.

I’m afraid the people might be real enough – to be fake.

random actors who accurately portray the moment in which I felt. something.

brain/ body conclusion

this was a random realization I had one night while speaking with friends. I urgently found a receipt to release its graphings.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

lip weapon (1:44:56 AM): there are only a few revolutionists.

this conversation has given me great new hope for the formalities of aol instant messenger:


Steinblanket (1:32:39 AM): yo dude
lip weapon (1:33:00 AM): hey, man.
Steinblanket (1:33:33 AM): how ar eyou
lip weapon (1:35:27 AM): tired, trying to make myself write a paper.
lip weapon (1:35:36 AM): i don't feel any real reason to do it.
lip weapon (1:35:40 AM): how about you, man
Steinblanket (1:36:13 AM): i know how that is
Steinblanket (1:36:29 AM): it's hard making school projects, cause no matter what you are deep down making it for someone else's tastes
Steinblanket (1:36:33 AM): and there is nothing of you in there
Steinblanket (1:36:39 AM): it's hard to be fake man
Steinblanket (1:36:45 AM): tired body syndrome
Steinblanket (1:36:48 AM): =reality
lip weapon (1:38:56 AM): truth, man. almost every paper i write is just faking it for a professor.
Steinblanket (1:40:53 AM): art school is bullshit for the artist, but it provides a wonderful shelter for the realities of life and themselves
Steinblanket (1:41:02 AM): it is a healthy and necessary buffer zone
lip weapon (1:41:25 AM): but you don't think it's really necessary to be there to be an artist, of course
Steinblanket (1:41:42 AM): well you either man, we're in the same boat
Steinblanket (1:41:46 AM): you paint in texts
Steinblanket (1:41:54 AM): i paint in lines and colors
lip weapon (1:42:04 AM): i don't feel like there's even been a class that caters to what i do at all.
lip weapon (1:42:11 AM): i conform my own style with each new step.
lip weapon (1:42:16 AM): it's never really free
Steinblanket (1:42:51 AM): i mean, school is giving me great practice for methods and skills, and i do believe it is good to first know the rules before breaking them...

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''';'';;''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''?

Steinblanket (1:42:54 AM): oh i agree man
Steinblanket (1:43:09 AM): the chameleon man walks out during the day
Steinblanket (1:43:14 AM): whenever everyone else can see eachother
Steinblanket (1:43:35 AM): that's why the best shit in life happens at night haha
lip weapon (1:44:02 AM): you were dead on with that statement about breaking the rules...i want a basis just like everyone else, but i want to take it a HUGE step further. places people don't even think about.
Steinblanket (1:44:14 AM): exactly man!
Steinblanket (1:44:43 AM): who the fuck needs another mirror to copy one another, we all have to be windows into expanding people
lip weapon (1:44:49 AM): i think vision is half the problem, if not more. people don't break boundaries because they don't even look for them. they are content to sit back and get fat with money.
lip weapon (1:44:56 AM): there are only a few revolutionists

- thank you for the words eli, it is good to think with you.

Steinblanket (1:50:46 AM): if you have the capabilities of doing great and powerful things in yourself, and with your heart in the good, i do not see why people who wish to lead in soemthing great don't step forward, now.
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ;

bang n chang'in hater players

Bathe me in cold darkness,,,where people can’t see me,
and give me brighter visions like the lights on bright TV’s.
And give me brave new mornings; where they will not know my name...
Where they won’t know all my stories, and they won’t think me a game.
They won’t take hold of my sounds when I romance them out loud
–to spread my inner being and to entertain a crowd.
They will sit and swing and live within the conscious of themselves,
instead of breaking in; an anarchan,, .to leave me seeds of someone else ,,,

And these people I so dearly speak of,
God, bless me fortune–– for once sharing their love
They’ll see just me, and not just themself

And the diamond in them, I’ll see for my own health.

Beauty in Flaw

The strive for perfection is in itself, a trek that most, I feel, choose to willingly take in life. I was myself a strong perfectionist, in the sense that I would feel an utter sense of guilt and pain when something I tried to convey from the bowels of my being just couldn’t…come out right. Just wasn’t accurately portrayed in the veil that I had initially hoped and felt for. I myself, had driven towards the lanes of perfection and have for many, many years tried to contort myself into a product of complete wholeness and resolution. But I ask you, what is the ultimate satisfaction in this form of thinking?

I understand the strive for perfection is in itself a way to control ones own destiny. To find a meaning, or goal, to follow and to hope for–and I whole heartedly agree there must be meaning and reason behind anything we choose to do in the vast freedoms of our life, but to what advantage can we contrive from aiming for perfection?

Are we not, in ourselves, saying that by focusing our attentions on the status of perfection, we are hoping to perch ourselves amongst the company of perhaps a God, or a machine? Now you may automatically interrupt that it is unhealthy to look to such depths – into matters merely formulated for good productivity. That we are not literally adapting to become an omnipotent resolution (on behalf of the fact that it is naturally impossible to be that.) But I ask you to search and think… from everything you know and can observe from around you, perfection has not been realistically viewed upon amongst society as exactly the only thing it can be, which is a glimmer of hope, a will to keep running, or in short a knowledgably intangible fragment of human perception. Instead, it has become something much more tangible in the thirsty eyes of man. Passions have become obsessions and the strive for human perfection, is in itself, become a retreat from our own humanity. The will to become a scientifically absolute being, immortalized in functionality and patterned consistent results – describes not a perfect human, because again, there is no such thing. To me, this resolution marks a longing for “robotniks.” Perfection has become a quest into an age of machina, and unfortunately we will continuously come to realize that this goal is in no way a plausible one, but rather a detriment to our own human vitalities, as well as instinctual, unique self - characters.

I do not agree that perfection should be even thought upon when constructing or interacting with anything that we do. The marks of our natural flaws are the bookmarks to our soul, the proofs of our human attributes. The path of perfection, the path that we choose, in our minds, hopes to lead us to a destination in which an exchange of human for machine parts is located, and becomes a never ending quest that will only tire and brittle our ego and bones – leaving you weaker in spirit rather than stronger in being. The cost of our human complexities and errors are too great a price to consciously be ready to give away in an instance of recognition or power.

Our flaws are again – what make us who we are!

Too often the judgments of others become the swooping blade that rips out who we are, our capabilities, our potentialities, our distinct instinctual selves. We fall as victim to critics, and in the wakes of these happenings we strive to cognitively and in full awareness, pursue a path that will leave no room for repeated troubles or error, and this becomes enforced by excruciating terms of punishment that we lay upon our own self when terms of perfection are not met – which again, I’m sorry to disappoint you, can never even be met in the first place. We create shells of steel and armor to bury and protect ourselves in when we feel shamed by our offset patterns, but is this not just another description of a robot – a being encased in metal and steel, cold to the sensitivities and wondrous forms of organic Earth?

We are ourselves Earth. We are apart of everything in so many ways and to hide from our human selves is in my opinion blasphemous in its nature. We mustn’t strive to be perfect, strive to be the complete definition of everything admirable and true. It is just something that cannot, and should not, be taken seriously because the weight of this determination is far too heavy for any sensitive human being to carry. Our nature is to be only ourselves. Our responsibility in the giant quilt workings of everything is to be only true to what it is we know and do.

To be a human, to understand and bask in both our glories and flaws, is to me, a much greater gift than the promise or attainment of absolute excellence – in short, I choose life over any kind of perfection.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

An Introduction

To first begin this journaling expedition with a forewarning to you, the audience, of this “blog.” This journal will in no way help lead you into my daily soap opera of a life like many others I’ve read and observed in the past. It will offer you windows, maybe sometimes mirrors, but surely never an open door into everything I do or openly feel. I am someone who –with great honor– sounds his heart safely to his sleeve, but in order to truly touch it you will have to puzzle your way through various jackets to reach it. Nothing I will write, pour, empty into words will logically make the obvious of sense – and why should it? Nothing is free. Should I continue to make your life any easier to digest by comforting you with my own? I take the greatest of prides in the days I am given and it would seem utterly egotistical to blatantly regurgitate to you the direct moments of my own life when you already have the conscious events of your own. Turn on the television or open a magazine if you’d like to live your life inside of another person. I’m not here writing to you, to spot light my face, or openly invite you into my world. I am here to help to aid in a revolution based on freedom and thought. I am here to create new things within myself, and possibly inside of you. This is made to hopefully make a difference somehow, somewhere.

I’ve found that going from point A to point B in life is becoming the route most taken as we adapt. And why shouldn’t it? It’s obviously and factually the quickest and most efficient of routes, and also the safest, and well, most comfortable form of travel. However, I feel because of that the world has become one big rubber padded existence, and is in many ways become too easily proofed by sciences and calculation. We are understanding patterns that were not intended for us… Well I apologize because this journal is truly not intended for you then if you enjoy the peacefulness of logic and fact. If you take kindly to reality, than perhaps you and I will not get along. Because what you see as meaningful, I see as shallow. What you may see as worthwhile, I will probably notice as utterly boring and redundant. This site, these thoughts, my drawings and music, all of it, is not intended to blissfully numb you into dumb founded tranquility…it is here to shove you, to stare at you. To make you think, to make you feel, to make you question. It is not working with you, it is working against you, to hopefully – in the grand scheme of things – help us all work a little better with each other in the end...

My personal work is always intended firstly for me, my release. It is my mark into a world of things and people that I am hopeful and eager to explore and connect with. My eyes are wide and I am ready to consume. To take in moments and air around me and to do what it is that I love to do most with it – exhale. To breathe in, and to exhale languages of visuals and sound. I make art to signify my waves in a pool of oceans and life. I make art to return what’s given to me. I make art to simply be alive.

I will in no way help you into my work, and for that I am sorry... However, I do extend the invitation still, into understanding my human complexities. Only you will have to clear the gap I’ve created between myself and you, on your own. There are no bridges into what I do, who I am, it’s just not as simple as that and in no way should be. We are all beautifully complex individuals that should in no way be taken for granted or easily labeled or identified. I will not offer you a point A and point B – an open path into my eyes. You will have to figure a route much farther out of the way if you so do choose to understand this. We as human beings, this world, our lives, cannot only be about two locations, a beginning and an end. There is so much middle between the two that must be explored in order to find the substance of truth and wisdom. We must always be entranced by our instincts and emotions by the life we live around us.

We are slipping on the holds of ourselves and one person, is becoming many. To understand what I do, who I am, will not be as easy as searching your neighbor or the market avenue for reference. You will first have to question what it is you do, who exactly you are. I’m not going to think for you, I have enough thoughts for myself, thank you very much. It is time for you to think on you own, as only whoever it is you are – and yes, don’t worry, you still have a brain. The computer or your Xbox hasn’t gotten to all of it yet, it’s still safe to come out into the light and think for yourself.

If you are searching for a recital of my day, or perhaps art work that will aesthetically capture what it is you are already able to see outside with your own eyes, you have come to the wrong place, my friend. I will offer you little reason, little method, and hopefully an irretraceable pattern to follow. My work will hopefully make you struggle, but in the end, hopefully you will find that I am very much just like you, a human being, with a heavy heart, and an eager mind.

I hope that this journal will be an interesting travel for both of us. My head has become quite stuffy with ideas and its time to let them breathe. Hopefully this vent will keep a steady flow of wind between your senses and my wings, leaving an exciting course of travel between you and I. While my art and writings are only my own…I am more than happy to share.

My feelings and languages are free to you now, good luck interpreting.